You Are Not Alone

Unfortunately, conversations about preparing for senior care needs often do not happen. Seniors often have a difficult time expressing their needs, wishes and preferences. They need an advocate for them in many instances. The advocate best qualified is the family who knows them best. In most families there is usually one sibling by desire or default based on location to their aging parent that becomes the main caregiver. When choosing the most appropriate care for a parent, there are many questions to ask and decisions to make, and plan. Consulting with their physician is sometimes a good way to start when approaching them on needing some care in the home.

The following are just a few tips and scenarios when starting a discussion:

• Begin early talking with your parent or loved one about their care needs, allowing them to fully participate and share their wants and needs.
• Include other family members so that everyone is on the same page and that care plans, finances, legal records such as trust documents, investments and banking records, durable power of attorney etc. are covered and discussed in detail, this is also a good way to find out if plans have already been made and what may still need to be done. A Durable Power of attorney for Health Care should be reviewed and the physician should have a copy.
• If they are reluctant about discussing care or personal finances, it is sometimes helpful to refer to a respected non-family member, such as a doctor, member of the clergy or trusted neighbor

Scenario#1
It is very common to see a loved one needing help or slipping in memory and when asked, they state they do not need any help. Sitting down with Mom, Dad, Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother or Grandfather and voicing your concerns is a good idea. Ask for their permission to help; start with a suggestion of care for 1 or 2 times a week with a re-evaluation after a week or two weeks. This may be the starting point towards having more help for a longer period of time.

Scenario #2
Seeing that a loved one is not caring for themselves, such as not bathing, clothes are unkept, losing weight missed medications, physician's appointments are forgotten about, may be the clues that something is just not the same and something is amiss. It may be time to contact the loved one's physician. Make an appointment and offer to accompany your loved one. Forwarding your concerns to the physician in advance will enable them to better assess the patient to see if there is anything out of the norm going on physically or cognitively.

Scenario #3
Your loved one has been put on Hospice care at home and the significant other cannot provide all the care needed. Hospice provides a full scope of services and even critical care/pain management care for a limited time. If care is needed in addition to their services, daily custodial care might help, especially through the emotional and stressful circumstances that a family is going through. Southwest Health Care Services, Inc. provides custodial care when necessary due to Hospice not being present on an hour to hour basis unless the patient is under critical care.

Scenario #4
Some seniors are at home and feeling isolated and unable to drive. Perhaps they have lost their significant other, or their own driver's license. In this instance a Personal Care Attendant can provide transportation and accompany the individual to outings, such as the Zoo, San Diego Wild Animal Park, breakfast, lunch or dinner. Engaging the senior in an outing even as simple as the grocery store, and/or helping them with meal preparation can boost their spirits and the interaction will help them not to feel so isolated or alone.

Scenario # 5
Sometimes adult children who have invited their parents to live with them begin to feel their life is no longer their own. The roles are reversed from when they were a child, and their parents now need direction. Respite care might be what is needed to enable the adult child to take time out with their spouse or family. A night out or a weekend away with full knowledge and comfort that their parent is well taken care of by an experienced caregiver can relieve the pressures of daily activities required for mom and dad.